The Hardest Season to Smile Through

The decorations are already up in the stores. The commercials are louder. Everyone seems to be counting down to something.

But for a lot of families we know, November and December are not the most wonderful time of the year. They are the months when the empty chair is hardest to ignore. When a parent is behind bars and the phone call is only fifteen minutes. When a teenager is carrying more than anyone at the dinner table realizes.

We know this season from the inside.

Why this season matters to us

Brianna Michelle Oberly was strong and brave, with a tender heart and a fierce protective streak, especially toward the kids in her family. At 19, a series of bad choices led to her incarceration. She grew up inside those walls. She fought for other incarcerated women when it would have been easier to stay quiet.

In September 2021, Bri walked out at the end of her sentence. She bought a car. She found her own apartment. She checked off one to-do item after another. Five months later, on February 1, 2022, she was gone at 28, leaving a family lost.

Brianna's first holiday season home was also her last. That is part of why we pay such close attention to this time of year. The pressure to be okay, to celebrate, to catch up on everything you missed, can be crushing. Old wounds that never had a chance to heal don't take a break for the holidays.

What you'll find here this season

Twice a week through the end of December, we'll be writing about the things that weigh heaviest this time of year:

• Grief — for parents, siblings, kids, and friends who are missing someone

• Youth — stress, substances, safety over winter break, and how to talk about all of it

• Families touched by incarceration — kids with a parent inside, loved ones coming home, and the people waiting for them

• Holidays — how to make room for joy and sorrow at the same table

Some posts are practical. Some are just meant to remind you that you are not the only one feeling this way.

If this season is hard for you

You don't have to fake it. You are allowed to skip the party, leave early, or cry in the car. You are also allowed to laugh, decorate, and enjoy the people in front of you, even while you miss someone. Both can be true.

If you are struggling and need someone right now, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline any time, day or night.

Stay with us this season. Subscribe to our mailing list at the bottom of our home page so you never miss a post, and share this one with someone who might need to hear it.